I saw this off an online buddy's site, and thought to post the link.  His friend's 3-year-old nephew was abducted in Festival Mall.  Spread this around please... hold your little ones tight, and let's hope this one is found.

Thank you.

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http://melquita.multiply.com/photos/album/348/HELP_My_Nephew_Was_Abducted

It's 3:41 am here in Los Angeles... I did get to bed at a relatively decent hour, but alas, my body isn't allowing me rest.  I am starting to feel a little sleepy, but thought to write a little bit before turning in.

Things are going very well indeed!  Rehearsals for Cinderella are such fun, I'm happy to report... every day is filled with laughter.  I mean, everyone is incredibly productive, and having a great time in the process.  The focus of the actors and creative team is admirable.  It's a wonderful company to be a part of.

I'm excited about the show tonight, too!  A lot of family and friends will be there.  It'll be my first time at the Walt Disney Concert Hall, so I have no idea what to expect.  Well, I guess whatever questions I have will be answered when I get there.  I hear the acoustics are incredible.

That's all for now... I seem to have trained my writing energy on my weekly column, trying to constantly find inspiration, above and beyond the suggestions that have come my way (thank you!).  I have a few ideas... but I'm letting them grow a little bit before I deem them fit for public consumption.

Good morning, good afternoon, and good night... wherever you are!

Featuring:
Anna Santamaria
Felix Rivera
Carla Guevara - Laforteza
Harold Cruz
Caisa Borromeo

DIRECTED BY ROBBIE GUEVARA

August 24, 2008
8pm
Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium
RCBC Plaza

For Inquiries please contact Peachy or Janina through 707.3739 / 0906.3315961 / email peachy.atilano@gmail.com

I just received this message from another Multiply user... since there's a message here that would benefit the greater good, I thought to post it verbatim.

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Hello Ms. Lea! Kmusta po? Kmusta din po kay cutie pie Nic and to your hubby Rob.

I am one of your fans and I love reading your thoughts here on multiply. Anyway, can I ask a little favor please? Please tell your friends or readers of your site to read my post on my multiply account about this scam that has victimized a lot of OFWs and our kababayans in the Phils. This scam is about globe/smart prepaid cards business. Apparently, this hacker will hack your yahoo mail and messenger and will use your identity by chatting with your friends on your yahoo messenger and will ask a favor to buy him/her prepaid cards. He/she will then promise to pay you back the next day. After getting the PIN numbers of the cards, he/she will not reply anymore. I have been victimized by this hacker who used my identity to get money from my friends.

I am exposing this scam as much as I can. I even wrote Inquirer, ABS-CBN and GMA-7 to make an article, news or a warning to our kababayans in the Phils.

Please help me expose it to everybody.

Thank you very much Ms. Lea. More power to you and God bless.

Hope to see you here in Chicago!

lots of love,
Jen

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There you have it.  Visit whatsupketchup to read her post.  Thank you.

Hi there!  I'm doing laundry at my Auntie's house in preparation for my trip home, so since I'm up waiting for it all to dry, I figured to write a pseudo-reply to my fans that have written me messages on Multiply...

It's a mite difficult to answer each and every message individually, as there are things that require my attention in the course of the day, but I do read everything (thanks for writing!).

- For those of you who wrote asking about my Cinderella schedule: I'll be doing each and every performance, barring illness, injury or vacation (I'm entitled to 2 weeks off somewhere in the run... waaaaaaaay after the Manila leg is over and done with).  If you see that my understudy is performing, it means that I am not in any way physically able to do that particular show.

- For those who write about how cute Nicole is, THANK YOU!!!  We think she's pretty darn cute too!

- For those just wanting to write to tell me about yourselves, wow!  Thanks so much for sharing a part of you with me.  It's great hearing about your families/school/children/talents/difficulties/hobbies/favorite things.  I'll apologize in advance if I don't write back.

- For those who sent PMs with allergy-relief suggestions, a huge THANK YOU!!!

- And finally, for those inviting me to join your networks, I'm flattered, but unfortunately I will decline... I do keep my Multiply site visible to everyone, but this isn't exactly a fan site, hence those I add are personal friends and members of my family exclusively.  This isn't meant as an offense to anyone.  HOWEVER, there are two fan sites here on Multiply (and the people there are really, really nice).  They are probably more up to date with my goings-on than I am (seriously!).  Go ahead and add yourselves there.  I'm also a member of both sites, so I check on them regularly, but I don't maintain them.

That is all!  Okay, I think my laundry is done now... time for me to sleep too.  Good night, and thank you again!

My mother called me today to give her regular Nicole report.

The day after that big hive attack the night before I left for LA, the little one was fine during the day.  However, she got a minor attack that evening... and she didn't drink the offending dairy drink.  There must have been something else giving her trouble...

So, since the pediatrician suspected dust and dust mites, my mother dutifully had the rugs and carpets in the rooms Nicole plays and stays in rolled up and put away, just to see what would happen.  No hives!!!  I guess the pediatrician was right too.

Since Nicole didn't initially suffer any allergies with these rugs and carpets, my guess is that enough dust and dirt has accumulated on them to offend her immune system.  So, a regular cleaning will need to be scheduled to keep her play area and sleeping places clean and dust-free.

FOR THOSE IN MANILA: might any of you have information on those Bissell deep cleaning machines, or on a really great rug and carpet cleaning service?  Please PM me any information you may have.  Thanks!

I wrote the first entry on the plane, and the second one in Los Angeles, many hours after landing.  It's definitely time for me to get some sleep... the past few weeks have had me very tired.

-------------------------

I need to stop watching CSI.

For some strange reason, on the same day, AXN played a couple of episodes of this popular crime drama whose storylines centered on the accidental death of a small child: one infant and one toddler.

Yeah, both episodes kept me up practically all of last night, so much so that I had to visit Nicole as she slept.  She was in bed, snug as a bug in a rug, so they say… it was probably because I had to leave for LA today, meaning I had to leave her, but I just stayed there, staring at her for a few minutes… watching her peacefully sleep, her rhythmic breathing, the shifting around in bed… I smelled her skin, touched her hair… when I felt satisfied that she was safe and doing just fine, I headed back to my own bed.

I need to stop watching CSI.

Would I be the only mother here who gets attacks of paranoia after seeing stuff like that on TV?  Am I the only one who gets these visions of their kid floating face down in a swimming pool after reading about someone else’s child dying this way?  Am I the only one that gets these flashes of doom when I get an invitation from a friend who happens to have a swimming pool in their backyard, or a dog running around, or a steep staircase?

If nothing else, I can understand why my mother was as protective as she was… she may have gone overboard a little bit, but given that she lost her first child, I can comprehend that she would want to do everything in her power to make sure child #2 and #3 stayed alive and healthy, ready to live another day.

I do want my child to experience getting a few bumps and bruises.  It’s healthy and would only be good for her development into adulthood.  However, how do I figure out the difference between being watchful and being deliriously paranoid?  How do other parents figure out keeping a safety net out for their kids while allowing them to grow and play, without strangling them?  I do try to breathe easy when I travel without my baby, and trust that she’ll be okay without me for a few days… how strange, it was somewhat easier when she was, for the most part, stationary… now that she’s mobile and thus able to get into everything, how can I be assured that she’ll be okay, that when I walk into my house next week, she’ll be there with open arms and a loud “Mommy” for me?

Okay… maybe I need to chill out for a second… maybe I need to relax and get some perspective, and trust that her caretakers will have their eyes out for her… maybe I need some sleep.  One thing’s for sure…

I need to stop watching CSI.

--------------------------

There are times when I feel monumentally stupid and inadequate…

My daughter recently suffered bouts of allergies, with clusters of hives surfacing all over her body, and we were stumped as to its cause.  My pediatrician thought it was dust mites… so I instructed the yaya to clean her room.  We took out all the larger stuffed animals, changed the sheets and cleaned the air conditioner filter.  My mom came to visit since I was going to be leaving for Los Angeles at the end of the week… she stayed with the baby, and watched her as she was drinking her milk… the hives then appeared right after.  Turns out it was her milk that was giving her allergies.  Not the dairy per se, but the pre- and pro-biotics that were added to it.   F***.

It’s not so much the discovery that irks me, it’s the “if not for me, you wouldn’t have figured it out” speech she delivered.  That stayed with me through my day… I cried under my blanket on the plane.

I know that as a mother I’m going to find myself in “trial-and-error” mode, but I don’t want to feel like this… it’s hard enough already being Mommy without being made to feel like less of one.  I don’t (and won’t) have all the answers… some days it seems as though I’m feeling my way around in the dark, and when light finally shines through, it comes with something I didn’t really need to hear.

Yes, I’m hormonal.  So sue me.

Ugh… I’m tired, jetlagged… I need to sleep for a week, I think.

Oh yeah, the update: we're not giving her that s***** f****** milk brand anymore.  There.

The concerts are all over... no more rehearsals... no more stressing out... no more late nights memorizing scripts, blocking and lyrics... no more long commutes to the only available rehearsal studio in Metro Manila in the pouring rain...

So... all I have left to say is... MARAMING SALAMAT!!!

Thanks to Tito Freddie for his writing and direction... for a strong hand that made the learning curve for many of those involved get less steep... and I mean drastically so...

To Gerard for his brilliant arrangements and orchestrations, and for being at the helm of FILharmoniKA with a firm but gentle touch.  And for being the best baby brother a girl could ever ask for...

To Menchu, Chari, Analin, Raul, Robbie and Michael for their energies, talent and generosity... I shall never forget this...

To Aga Muhlach... just for being Aga Muhlach... funny, brilliant, and big-hearted.  I do intend to stay true to my word about us doing another film together.  I pray that it'll come true, without obstacles...

To Rajo Laurel... the gowns were so beautiful, and I felt like a princess in each one.  You were with me at the beginning of my journey, and I'm so happy you're here as well as it continues.  I am a big fan!

To Bobbit Jacinto... Mio Infante... John Batalla... all geniuses and masters in your respective fields... you were all so patient and wonderful, and did such incredibly beautiful work.  I hope to work with you all again.

To the crew... the wardrobe department... sound engineers... video engineers... teleprompter operators... just everyone in production... you were all excellent from start to end!  Thank you all!!!

And to each and every one of you that came to see the show... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 

Here's hoping for many more years!  Cheers!

... it's strep throat.  Both Nicole and I were diagnosed this morning.  So now we're both on antibiotics and plenty of rest, as well as drinking tons of water.  Nic does the water thing already so that's not an issue for her, but giving her medication is like being in the ring with The Rock.  Or John Cena.  Or Batista.  Although resistance is futile, her resistance of us is exhausting!  That kid is strong!

I have a week to get over this, but things should be fine in a few days.  I just have to take it easy vocally until Friday.  It does put a damper on rehearsals for me since I can't sing out for a while, but that's okay.  Better it happened now than later.  Or worse, Friday!

As I write this I'm looking outside the window at the trees swaying in the wind.  Looks like there's a storm brewing.  I hope the motorists that are on the road are exercising prudence and are being really careful.

Actually, that title is wrong... I caught one already... Nicole got sick, which means that mommy also gets sick.  I'm actually happy that I'm feeling under the weather now than closer to the concert dates.

Speaking of the weather, why has the rainy season seemingly come down upon us in May?  Isn't it supposed to start in June?

I feel bad for a lot of young kids who were so looking forward to summers out of town, presumably where the sun would be shining... balmy days, sandy beaches... but instead, there's only rain.  A few of my friends went to Boracay hoping for a reprieve from the cloudy skies of Manila, but instead got more of the same when they arrived.

Something is going wrong with our earth... and I'm hoping it isn't beyond repair.

"Manang, this calls for a separate blog for irritation in case you haven't got one." -- Angel of Beasts

You asked for it, you got it! 

The comments section will be open to anyone and everyone who wants to list down their irritations.  Yes, I do have a Pet Peeves blog, but it would just be too much to try and find it.  And right now I'm just tamad.

So... what irrrrrrrrrrrritates me?

1.  When people don't do their jobs right.  For example: the teleprompter operator at a gig I did failed my co-worker... his lyrics weren't entered into the prompter, and so at showtime he was left high and dry.  I was wondering why what he was singing in the show was different from what he was doing in rehearsal, so I took a glance at the monitor, and I saw that the lyrics were nowhere to be found.  All I saw were the title of the song and the words "To be entered later."  They were supposed to be entered YESTERDAY!  BEFORE THE GIG!  NOT LATER WHEN THE SHOW WOULD ALREADY BE OVER, DUMBASS!!!

2.  When the past comes back to bite me in the ass.  Not long ago I found out that an old falling-out incident with all its gory details was related to a pair of ears that didn't really care to hear about it.  In fact, the listener was already saying, "I really don't want to hear about it."  It happened out of the blue... out of nowhere... unsolicited.  After I was told of the incident, I became angry, but was immediately appeased by the knowledge that my friend formed her opinions of me based on what she sees today, and not on an incident that took place a thousand years ago.  Or was it a million?  For the record, yes, I was the one at fault.  But do I have to pay for it the rest of my life?

I will, without hesitation, admit to having been mean to certain people in my lifetime... I'm not always a likeable sort of girl.  I can also have a hair-trigger temper at times, a twist to my usually patient and calm nature.  And yes, I have had my own share of falling-outs and fights.  Who hasn't?  However, I'd like to think that when enough time has passed, the benefit of the doubt takes over, and it's safe to say that the people I had my fights with (and I) have all grown up, moved on and found a better, more peaceful place.  This I presume... until I'm then proven wrong.  I mean, 5 years ago... 10 years ago... 15 years ago... I was a different person.  As was everyone else.  All I ask is to be judged based on what I've become, and not on what I used to be. 

On a lighter note, I saw an ex-boyfriend of mine not long ago... the break-up was not a pretty one and I remember being badly burned by it.  However, many years later, upon seeing him in the front row of a show I did, I was actually happy to see him.  We saw each other after the performance and hugged.  We were fine.

3.  Technical rehearsals.  I know, I know, this is a necessary process when putting on a concert or a show, but damn it, there are days when it can irk the hell out of me.  At tech week (or as I like to call it, "hell week"), this is when lighting, sound, sets and costumes all get their tweaking time.  During one tech week, I was nursing a very bad head cold, so having to stand still on stage wearing nothing but a t-shirt wasn't exactly the way I wanted to recuperate.  I've also had the wrong pair of pants handed to me during one rehearsal, as my dresser didn't have a clue what she was doing.  She eventually did just fine.

Not all of hell week is hell though... I get a kick out of rehearsing my quick changes for shows that I do.  It's a challenge attempting to get my changes done in record time without panic or stress.  There is a method to that madness...

4.  Manila traffic.  I don't mean traffic jams.  I mean, cars separated by less than 2 inches of air... drivers who turn on their high beams, blinding oncoming traffic... assholes that cut in front of you... the stupids who make a left turn from the rightmost lane, and expect other cars to just part for them (who the hell are you, Moses?)... the buses that swerve from one side of the highway to the other, driving their vehicles as if they were racecars... all modes of public transportation that stop anywhere and everywhere (except at their designated stops) to pick up and/or drop off passengers... and the pedestrians who ignore the crosswalk 5 feet away, throw caution to the wind and cross wherever they please, even climbing partitions to do it.  Maybe they have a death wish or something.

The traffic jams are actually not too difficult to negotiate... I'm able to tune out the world by plugging in my headphones and listening to music.  We're going way too slow for anything to be a real bother.

5.  Showbiz intrigue and controversy.  No, I won't expound on this one.  I don't have to.

6.  When I see a really unflattering photograph of a celebrity friend who I know is far, far more good-looking than that.  Why does that irritate me?  As a public figure, there is a degree of responsibility one must take in controlling the images of oneself that appear.  I try to make sure that I pick flattering pictures for headshots and publicity photos, and approve of poster layouts and designs (along with the director of the show I'm doing... if my face is on it, I wanna say yes before it gets out).  I do accept that there is a lack of control when it comes to photos taken at press conferences, interviews and news events, and that's fine.  All I can do in those circumstances is to look good and show my best side (by the way, it's my left).

However, there is going to be a small fraction of pictures released that do not do any sort of justice in terms of the person's image or looks.  It could be due to a bad angle or bad lighting, but still.  It unnerves me when it happens, and it makes me feel terrible for the celebrity.  Hooooh boy...

7.  Cellphones that go off during a performance... especially during a quiet moment.  Before every performance, there's a Voice of God announcement advising the audience to turn off their cellphones and other devices that may intermittently make a beeping sound.  Fair enough.  In truth, silent mode is enough if you really need to keep your phone on for important messages.  Chances are you're a good distance from the speakers.

When that announcement is summarily ignored... that really, really gets my goat.  I've found myself singing the most quiet of ballads with only a piano or a guitar accompanying me when out of nowhere, that loud and incessant Nokia message tone #1 goes off in the 3rd row.  I'm then jolted out of focus and all I can think about is killing that person and his or her offending cellphone.

Many years ago, during the run of They're Playing Our Song here in Manila, my co-star Adrian Pang and I were on stage doing a very emotional scene.  One cellphone's message tone kept going off (apparently that audience member was more interested in texting than watching the show).  After enough minutes of this into the scene, Adrian finally lashed out (still in character, and speaking to the imaginary studio engineer) to TURN THAT BEEPING OFF.  The look in his eye was that of extreme irritation at how inconsiderate some people can be.

One more cellphone story: it was the run of a musical here, I can't remember which one.  A lady in the audience answered her phone in the middle of the show and carried on a conversation... loudly.  The sad part?  The lady is a talent manager, which means she should know better than to answer the phone during a performance!  I don't think she would have appreciated someone else doing that while one of her talents was on stage.  Haaaaaay nakuuuuuuuuuu.............

8.  Mediocre preformances from otherwise excellent artists.  I really, really hate it when I watch a show that someone that I know to be stratospherically, ridiculously talented is in, and they put out a less-than-stellar performance.  This is otherwise known as "phoning it in."  If you're aspiring for puwede na, don't even bother.  You'd just be wasting your (and my) time.

Maybe it's that fan girl in me... when I watch someone with some frequency, be it on television or live, and I know that their standard level of performance is excellent or beyond, I find myself extremely disappointed (and even sometimes angry and disgusted) when that same artist phones it in.  Sure, it might be for just that one performance that I happen to see.  But still.  I come to expect nothing short of brilliance... or whatever their best might be.  I'd much rather see you aim high and fall short than aim low.  That's just a major copout for me.


And how about some quick cut inis-ness:

- People who cut in line at the bank, airport, fast food restaurants, wherever.
- Being sleepy when there's so much going on that I want to stay up for.
- When an actually talented singer is voted off American Idol.
- When my computer crashes BEFORE I save my document.
- The ass that criticizes anything and everything when I'm watching a play, movie or musical, robbing me of my focus and enjoyment.  Shut up muna, puwede ba?!
- Over-energetic people... only the ones that border on obnoxious and annoying.
- People that walk in between someone who's posing and someone who's taking a picture, during the 1-2-3.
- When my internet is down.
- When I ruin a manicure/pedicure.


And that's really all I could think of... I'll be editing this over the next few days... or when something else gets my goat.

Since we spent the entirety of Good Friday at home, we were a little stircrazy, but looking forward to the day.  We had an invitation to lunch at our friend Yvette's home, along with other friends Lisa and Berck (who are expecting their first child in a few months) and Stevie and Ana (who toted their beautiful ones Agustin and Felicia).  Yvette and Lisa attended Columbia University together... Yvette was actually my Matron of Honor, and we are a pair that have seen each other through a lot in our lifetimes in New York.  She's seen me through a few breakups (and I've seen her through a few as well)... when I was still single and on the few times that I didn't want to be by myself in my apartment, I'd head to her place, even if I ended up staying awake the whole night.  There were very few friends I was comfortable enough to do this with... she was one of them.

First we headed to Greenbelt 3 to check out of the Macbook Air, something Rob has been eyeing lustfully for a while now... unfortunately they were out of stock at the PowerMac Center.  He was thwarted... for right now... it's something he has his sights set on, so we'll just have to wait a while.  After that, it was off to lunch at Yvette's.

Lunch was delicious, and taken really slowly... beef, lasagna, chapchae, salad with a honey vinaigrette dressing, plus rum cake, ube halayan, sans rival and ice cream for dessert.  It ended with a delicious cup of coffee, and plenty of laughter and conversation.  Lunch started at around 12:30 and ended close to 4:00, most of it spent chatting over the latest goings-on in Manila.  Of course all good things must come to an end, so after lots of hugs and kisses goodbye, we were off to Power Plant.

Of course we paid a visit to PowerMac and then walked around for a bit... got some crayons and paper for Nic... a few items at the grocery store... a few escalator rides as well for the little one, and it was off to Alabang.  We stopped first at Alabang Town Center for Rob to check on something before we went home.

It was a fun Saturday spent with friends and family. 

I woke up with Ali McGraw's face in my mind as she uttered those words to Ryan O'Neal in Love Story.  Kinda made me stop and think...

I've found myself on the offensive and defensive sides of arguments in the course of my lifetime... some arguments and disagreements never finding resolution... and without even the slightest trace of an apology.  Either by me or by my nemesis-of-the-moment. 

With one best friend, all it took was for time to fix things... we picked up where we left off (well, from the most recent pleasantness preceding the less pleasant moments).  We no longer talk about what it was that caused our most recent strife (since it really wasn't one of us that started the mess in the first place).  For another... I go off into a binge of overthinking and waffling back and forth over whether to ask for an apology since my feelings and my pride were injured.

At the end, I decided, "nah".  We love each other anyway... to the death.  Forgiveness comes always.  Always. 

In both cases, we've become more than just friends... we've become family.  And sometimes, there are things that don't even have to be said for the sake of finding peace and balance. 

Sometimes, all it takes is time... the forgiveness will always come.  As will the love.  For sure that will never leave.

1.  If you don't have anything nice to say (no matter what the circumstance), keep it to yourself.  It won't help the situation any to let someone know that someone else doesn't like them, or has something uncomplimentary to say.  I'd rather live in ignorant bliss.  At least I'll be in bliss.

2.  Gentlemen, in apologizing to your wife/girlfriend/female friend, it's enough to say "I'm sorry that what I did or said hurt you... I'm sorry for how I made you feel."  You uttered the words she was waiting for without sacrificing one ounce of pride.

3.  Ladies, if your man seems to withdraw, let him be.  All men need to be alone with their thoughts in order to think situations thoroughly.  Nag him, and he'll get confused.  And an utterly confused man is akin to the Incredible Hulk.

4.  It's better to think and think hard and well before speaking.  I've uttered enough FU's in my lifetime without so much as a single thought.

5.  Don't forget to say "I love you," if you truly mean it.  We ladies LOVE to hear it, be showered in it, enveloped by it.  Don't hold back on us, please, and we won't hold back on you.

That's all I have for right now... when I have more, I'll add more.  Good night.

I spotted this on a friend's blog and immediately found it interesting...

For spouses and couples, what you'll read may help to foster a fundamental and basic understanding between the sexes, and enable us to communicate more effectively.  Additionally, knowing how men and women differ in their thinking and feeling, perceptions and expectations is great for even friendships and business dealings.  Women cannot ever expect men to think the way they do, and vice versa.  Once we get past that, I think we can then have more harmony at home, at work and in social situations.

One part below that stood out for me: While men’s conversations tend to focus on facts, women’s conversations tend to emphasize the feelings behind the facts.  I have to remember this whenever I have an argument with a member of the opposite sex... hopefully he won't be too stubborn a jackass and understand that though the facts are relevant, the feelings behind the facts are just as, if not more, important.

Another book to consider: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Have fun!

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His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage, 

Whenever you spouse says or does something that baffles you, you experience one of the many differences between men and women. But once you understand how differently God has designed male and female brains, you can learn how to use those differences well in your marriage.

Then the gender differences won’t alienate you and your spouse; they’ll complement you both to strengthen your marriage. Here’s how:

Realize just how profoundly men and women differ from each other. Male and female brains are dramatically different anatomically, chemically, hormonally, and physiologically. Those differences cause fundamentally different ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Appreciate and honor those differences. Recognize that it was God who designed men and women to be different – and to accomplish good purposes. Instead of being frustrated by the gender differences, decide to respect them and learn how to work with them instead of against them.

Understand the differences in how men and women process information. The male brain is highly systemized, with a high ability to compartmentalize, a low ability to multitask, a high ability to control emotions, a low relational orientation, a high project orientation, a high ability to “zone out,” a tendency to act first and think later when faced with stress, an aggressive response to risk, and a tendency to compete with other males. The female brain is highly empathetic, with a low ability to compartmentalize, a high ability to multitask, a low ability to control emotions, a relational orientation, a low project orientation, a low ability to “zone out,” a tendency to think and feel before acting in response to stress, a cautious response to risk, and a tendency to cooperate with other females.  

Understand the differences in how men and women communicate. While men’s conversations tend to focus on facts, women’s conversations tend to emphasize the feelings behind the facts. Men solve problems best by thinking about one issue at a time, usually on their own. But women generally need to talk through problems with someone else to process their thoughts. Men approach situations with a strong desire to make decisions and take action, whereas women sometimes just want to talk about how they feel about those same situations. Men tend to speak directly and use words literally, while women tend to speak indirectly. So, wives, give your husbands the time and space he needs to think through issues on his own, be willing to work with him to find solutions you can both act on, and speak to him in direct ways he can clearly understand. Husbands, listen to your wives when they’re sharing their thoughts and feelings about the issues you face, and ask questions to clarify the meaning of what they’re saying.

Hi there!

Just wanted to announce that a Sunday matinee performance of my concert has been added.  Neil Blaisdell Center, Honolulu, Hawaii.  It'll be at 2:30 pm.  The Saturday night show has been sold out.

Thanks!  See you!

This is one of those mornings when I regret not bringing my digital camera... the view from here is so beautiful...

It's pretty early in the morning (far earlier than I'm accustomed to waking)... the air is cool and smells so sweet... I actually woke up before the sun.  Strange, because that's when I usually turn in.

I'll be here a week for shows, after which it'll be time to head back home.  Although a week in paradise is always wonderful, it doesn't beat a lifetime at home.

One Facebook friend wrote on her status update: "still crying after a year... pain pain go away..."

When I read that, it made me seriously think about what could possibly help someone like her going through something like that.  Probably nothing... consolation, kindness and morale boosting have most likely already been given and generously.  But how about a figurative kick in the ass?  (I would have considered burning an effigy, but that would have taken too much time.)

I'm a pragmatist.  Oh, I'm a romantic too at heart, but when I've needed to, after I was done feeling sorry for myself, I'd kick my own ass and give myself a wake-up call.  Here are a few lines that I can think of to do this for someone else (and hidden in them are some lines I've used on myself).  Boys, go ahead and change the gender of the nouns and pronouns if any of the following applies to you:

- Why are you wasting your tears on that loser?  Snap out of it.  There are better men out there.

- You are not a slave to any man.  Don't act like one.

- You've changed, and for the worse.

- He would've cheated on your ass anyway... cut your losses and run for the hills.

- He can't even take care of himself, let alone you!

- You're growing, he's not.  Move on.

- And what in God's holy name did you ever see in him???  Woman, get your eyes checked!!!  Stat!!!

- In the end he would have destroyed you.  He almost did.

- You collided with a fist.  And you're still with him?

- You can't even respect him!!!  How can you say you love him?

- After all he's done to you, you remain true.  Why?  The sex can't have been that great.  And even if it was, it's not worth it.

- Martyrs are so archaic.  Don't become one.

- He tore you down piece by piece, taking away your self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence in the process.  If you still love him, then he also took away your intelligence and common sense.

- He clearly doesn't love you... and who knows if he ever did?

- All he wanted was sex.  He got what he wanted, and now he's gone.  Asshole.

- Get rid of his photos.  Destroy his love letters.  Put away everything he ever gave you.  Stop texting, stop calling, stop chatting, stop writing.  Remove him from your Facebook/Multiply/My Space/Friendster/Live Journal/Blogspot/Yahoo Messenger/AIM/MSN Messenger/etc. contact list/s.  Erase all contact information from your PDA/cellphone/address book.  He's not worth even one single thought.

- You fell in love with a troll.  We all make mistakes.

- Why?  Is he that handsome???  Is his d*** made of gold???  Helloooooo!!!!! (rough translation of one of the comments below)

Yeah, I love a good ass-kicking, when it's absolutely needed.

What do you do when you're irritated with someone or something?  An event or circumstance... something uttered by someone you don't already like... a behavior... a revelation... sometimes, the mere tone of the voice or presence...

I've found myself wanting to hurl a coffee mug or water glass at the closest human being.  However, I always exercise restraint.

So... how do I deal when I find myself irritated at someone/something?

I take a deep breath... find something else to amuse or distract me... read... talk about it out loud with myself to objectify things... write...

Whatever... so long as the end result is a diminished level of irritation.

Distractions usually work... and I'm able to go about like normal again.

Until my goat is got.

I have a story to share... it never ceases to make my husband laugh:

We were in our LA home when I found myself feeling cold, so I got out of bed to go downstairs to the thermostat in order to turn up the heat.  When I got to the bottom of the stairs, for the life of me I couldn't remember why I went down in the first place.  So I started fixing up the living room, neatening the space up... went to the kitchen to check on things and get a snack... the dining room to tidy up the table... then I started feeling cold, so I went to the thermostat to turn up the heat.

That's when I remembered why I went downstairs in the first place.  Picture the lightbulb suddenly appearing above my head.  Aha!

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My hubby's memory isn't so great either.  Here's a recent exchange:

In the car, he asks me what the word "masalimuot" meant.  I told him that I didn't know, so he said, "it means complicated... I learned it at the office today."  I then nodded my head and said, "okay."

The next day at the dinner table, he asks me, "Hon, do you know what the word masalimuot means?"  I said, "yeah, it means complicated."  "How did you know???" he asked, looking mightily impressed with me... finally with an exasperated tone in my voice and a droll expression on my face, I replied, "you told me yesterday in the car."

He then busted up laughing, tears welling up in his eyes.

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One more story that I just remembered:

I was just finished with rehearsal at my brother's studio... I always carry an orange water jug with me, dangling usually from one of my fingers.  As I headed out the door, I went frantic, looking for my jug.  I went back into the studio... not there.  I checked outside in the reception area, nothing.  So I asked around, "where my orange water jug?"  The security guy pointed to my hand, and there it was, dangling from my pinky.

Welcome to my world.